The Island Blotter

San Juan County Sheriff's Log — Powered by dad humor

Source: Islands Sounder

Week of Nov 21

A Friday Harbor resident discovered that an uninvited guest had made a withdrawal from their home that the bank definitely didn't authorize, and deputies are currently investigating who made this unauthorized transfer.

Nov 22, 2016 Friday Harbor Theft

A trespasser in the San Juan Island area was found to be merely a civil matter, which is a fancy way of saying the deputy's lecture on property lines was probably the harshest punishment involved.

Nov 22, 2016 San Juan Island Trespass

A San Juan Island theft was documented and politely handed off to another agency, because nothing says "your problem now" quite like an informational report.

Nov 22, 2016 San Juan Island Theft

A Lopez Island school's unexpected livestock visitor proved that someone's farm-to-table concept was a little too literal, though the situation was resolved without anyone having to herd cats—just actual animals.

Nov 22, 2016 Lopez Island Animal

A deputy took a stolen vehicle report on Orcas Island—looks like someone decided to take a joyride without asking permission, and now we're playing the world's least fun game of hide-and-seek with a car.

Nov 22, 2016 Orcas Island Theft

A collision occurred at Douglas Road and Madden Lane on San Juan Island, where the at-fault driver was suspected of driving under the influence; she was arrested for DUI and processed accordingly.

Nov 22, 2016 San Juan Island Traffic

A deputy responded to a trespass complaint on San Juan Island and resolved the matter through conversation with the parties involved.

Nov 22, 2016 San Juan Island Trespass

An after-hours basketball game at Orcas Island Public School got a little too competitive when a fight broke out, but nobody wanted to press charges—apparently they just wanted to settle it on the court.

Nov 22, 2016 Orcas Island Assault

A Lopez woman discovered that her unlocked car in Lopez Village had become an unwitting donation center, courtesy of a very industrious thief.

Nov 21, 2016 Traffic

A Lopez Island resident reported an injured deer on Mud Bay Road, but the deer's miraculous recovery upon seeing a deputy suggests it was either faking or simply needed better motivation to get moving.

Nov 21, 2016 Lopez Island Animal
Week of Nov 14

A Lopez deputy was dispatched for a dog picked up by a citizen in the roadway. The dog was reunited with the owner, who was warned for having a dog at large.

Nov 20, 2016 Animal

A Friday Harbor juvenile was having what we'll generously call a "rough day," complete with threats of self-harm, which earned them a one-way ticket to the ER and then into the loving arms of juvenile services.

Nov 20, 2016 Friday Harbor Disturbance

A hit-and-run in Eastsound left deputies searching for a suspect vehicle believed to be an SUV or van—basically, any boxy thing on wheels that isn't a sedan.

Nov 20, 2016 Eastsound Traffic

The hit-and-run victim's car sustained minor damage, meaning they got off easier than most of us do in a parking lot.

Nov 20, 2016 Traffic

A good Samaritan found a dog loose in the roadway and brought it home, but the owner got a friendly reminder that "at large" doesn't mean "at liberty to roam."

Nov 19, 2016 Mud Bay Road Traffic

A Friday Harbor business theft was resolved when the suspect realized that paying for items is actually how retail works, and all charges were dropped faster than the merchandise was grabbed.

Nov 18, 2016 Friday Harbor Theft

Two vehicles collided in Friday Harbor in what can only be described as a meeting that nobody wanted to attend, but a collision report was completed and everyone walked away citation-free.

Nov 18, 2016 Friday Harbor Traffic

Deputies responded to a domestic dispute in Friday Harbor and discovered the male resident was observing his court-ordered sobriety about as well as a fish observes dry land.

Nov 18, 2016 Friday Harbor Disturbance

A deputy answered the call for an agency assist in Friday Harbor, only to discover the real emergency was medical—talk about a plot twist.

Nov 18, 2016 Friday Harbor Medical

A citizen reported a hit and run collision on their parked vehicle at Island Market in Eastsound; the other driver left the scene faster than they left a note.

Nov 18, 2016 Traffic

A motorist learned that speeding in the 1800 block of Mud Bay Road comes with a ticket—turns out there really is a fine line between safe and unsafe driving.

Nov 18, 2016 Eastsound Traffic

A found Canon Powershot came in with more concrete evidence than most of our cases—literally. We played detective with the memory card, spotted a cement truck logo, and tracked down the owner faster than you can say "photo recovery."

Nov 17, 2016 Other

A Lopez deputy took a report of stolen guitar strings—or possibly the whole instrument. Either way, someone's day just became a lot less melodic.

Nov 17, 2016 Theft

A Lopez Island resident got identity-jacked by someone apparently calling from the Middle East, but our vigilant bank caught the suspicious transaction and shut it down before any real damage was done. No loss, and the suspect remains roughly 6,000 miles away and equally uncooperative.

Nov 17, 2016 Lopez Island Theft

A speed demon at Terrill Beach and Mt. Baker Road discovered that going 52 in a 35 means you're not just breaking the law, you're breaking the sound barrier—or at least the citation barrier.

Nov 17, 2016 Orcas Island Traffic

An Eastsound resident reported her vehicle stolen by a family member who apparently decided a ferry ride to the mainland was cheaper than asking for the keys.

Nov 17, 2016 Eastsound Theft

Apparently this one got cut off mid-incident, but we're guessing it also involved someone who didn't get the memo about designated camping zones.

Nov 16, 2016 Other

A wallet was discovered on Larson Street by our Public Works crew, who proved that not all heroes wear capes—some wear safety vests and turn in lost property to dispatch.

Nov 16, 2016 Friday Harbor Fire

A Friday Harbor resident learned an expensive lesson about unlocked vehicles: they're basically a vending machine for thieves, except the machine also takes your dignity.

Nov 16, 2016 Friday Harbor Theft

A vehicle owner reported damage at the ferry lot, but when deputies checked security footage, the cameras had apparently taken the day off—no incident was captured, which is pretty on-brand for government technology.

Nov 16, 2016 Friday Harbor Traffic